Dealing with hatred for the siblings
Holidays are just around the corner, and you are dreading running into your siblings. You think your family takes a special toll on your mental health, and completely drains your energy.
Admittedly, families can be messy. Due to the close contact, there is bound to be friction. Even the best of relationships face ups and downs.
However, if after all these years still, all your feel is hate towards your sibling, then that is somewhat a cause for concern.
It is therefore vital to understand this feeling of hatred; why exactly cannot you get along with your sibling, even though you do with the rest of the world is important to understand. In some cases, it may be due to trauma or abuse, for which we recommend that you visit the Best Psychiatrist in Lahore.
There are also very many other reasons siblings might not get along with each other. These include:
No one likes comparison, and it is especially common in siblings. Parents, relatives, and even teachers may then compare the siblings, making them feel less than pleasant thoughts about each other. Comparisons commonly relate to grades, performance in school, appearance, etc.
Just because you are siblings does not mean that you were cut from the same cloth. Your poles apart personalities may also be the reason why you are unable to get along. And rather than agreeing to disagree, you tend to make big deals out of conflicts, that become grudges, and later evolve into hatred as well.
Envy and jealousy.
You might also feel hate toward each other simply because you are jealous. There are plenty of avenues that the jealousy may stem from; from professional success to appearance to family life, anything may trigger envy that then morphs into hatred.
Parents play a vital role in the way siblings feel around each other. They deliberately, or accidentally may trigger sibling rivalry.
Picking favorites, being lenient on one child only and conversely, being extremely strict with the other one are some ways parents can foster feelings of hatred towards the siblings, that way very well continue through their adulthood as well.
Handling and remedying the hatred
It is not healthy to harbor feelings of hatred for one’s own flesh and blood, unless of course the reasons are more sinister. Therefore, it is important that you address these issues. Some helpful tips include:
End the race
Unlike what people have you thinking, life is not a rat race. Therefore, do yourself a favor and end the competition. Stop measuring yourself with your sibling’s success. Do not let your parent’s constant need to competition define your subjectivities as well.
When you let go of this unhealthy competition, you make your relationship less contentious. It may also then allow positive emotions to foster in your relationship as well then.
Be firm in with your boundaries
Siblings can encroach on your personal life and space. It is therefore vital that you establish boundaries, and not let them cross these. These can be extremely banal, like your closet might be off-limits to them, or serious like they cannot ask you certain questions about your personal life.
Let your parents not dictate your relationship
The behavior of parents and other relatives can breed competition, hatred, and frustration with one another. Hence, do not allow others to define your relationship with your siblings. For example, if your parent has picked favorites, you do not project this on your sibling then.
Just as you seek help for physical ailments, you should also consider seeking out an expert for your mental health issues as well. If you have sustained abuse or trauma at the hands of your sibling, you must contact an expert like a therapist or the Best Psychiatrist in Karachi to help you cope better with this grave problem.