In general, it’s suggested that parents take time out to do what they want while not letting the gentle parenting approach be so extreme that kids take advantage of them. Parents need to want to instill in them that they are responsible for their actions. The Enneagram serves as a powerful tool for helping parents know what to do now with kids.
There are a lot of entities around the Enneagram, and there is a need for understanding helpfulness in marriages. The Enneagram serves as primarily a tool for the arena of spiritual direction for self-awareness and spiritual growth while proving helpful in navigating all personal relationships, especially families.
Never Use The Enneagram As A Label On Your Kids
The minute parents label them, they limit them. Kids are ever-growing, evolving, and changing. Kids exhibit characteristics of multiple types. But often, there remains a possibility that a single type screams out in every interaction with them.
What’s worth understanding in life is that parents shouldn’t crack the code of a kid’s personality. One should focus on being the very best version of oneself, which is helpful to avoid thinking of a child as a particular type—as a One or a Seven. There is a need to use language with yourself and with a partner to talk about these things.
Working On Being The Best Parents
Type 1 – The Perfectionist
One sees the world the way it should be seen, with an intuitive sense of integrity. As a parent, one reflects a strong sense of right and wrong. A One communicates order and also sets the right way to do things. A blindspot in parenting happens when this goes too far and turns into legalism and setting standards that aren’t supposed to be met. If, as a parent, you catch yourself doing this, extend grace. Learn to be humble and seek forgiveness when you’re observing yourself project your idealistic standards on kids.
Type 2 – The People-pleaser
Twos have the gift of emotional connection, and when you are a parent, a Two naturally embodies Christ-like self-sacrificial love. These are the parents who can pour themselves out. But the blind spot becomes a complete negligence of self-care. Twos forget to take care of their own needs. If you find yourself belonging to this category, it is advisable to tag Team with your partner. Recharge batteries and show yourself the compassion that you also pour out on other family members.
Type 3 – The Success-oriented
Threes are the ones that flourish when they’re accomplishing things. As a parent, a Three brings the gift of being a great cheerleader, and you always wish to instill incredible confidence. You communicate to get certain things done. But as a blindspot, the Three build up unrealistic expectations of achievement, and they dictate their demands to their child. These parents tend to live vicariously through their accomplishments. In case you find yourself here, it’s wise to show your child unconditional love, untethered to achievement. Also, make the child feel how proud you are of the kind of person they are. Show appreciation for how they have developed themselves.
Type 4 – The Sensitive, withdrawn soul
Fours always choose to do things differently. As parents, Fours brings the gift of individuality and an imagination for beauty. Also, they tend to intuitively join in the imaginative play of young children or read their children’s moodiness. Blindspot for a Four is often undervaluing the emotional need of the child to belong and fit in with a peer group. In case you as a parent are one of these, it’s advisable to discern with your child the fine line between being yourself and connecting with others.
Type 5: The Overthinker
Fives see the deeper connections. As a parent, five plays the part of the wise guide to children. Fives are natural teachers and also love the idea of introducing their kids to everything in the world. Blindspot for a Five, however, is budgeting limited social energy. Fives easily throw up boundaries that kids don’t respect or know what to do with. What you can do to fix this situation is to stay extra mindful and be present for your child.
Type 6: The Passion and practicality-oriented
Sixes are the emblem of faithfulness and steadiness. As a parent, a Six is known for presenting oneself as a gift of vigilant boundary-making for the sake of safety. Six has the proper idea regarding how to keep children safe and secure. As a blindspot, a Six easily falls into the cliche helicopter parent, smothering child. To put an end to issues arising with this, there is a need to take a big, deep breath.
Type 7: The Adventurer
Sevens are packed with joy. As a parent, seven knows how to make lasting memories together. The sevens are aware of the value of Road trips, vacations, and ice cream dates to have fun. A blindspot, however, is avoiding discipline. As a seven, you should be careful of setting up the unfair roles of yourself as a “good cop” and your partner as a “bad cop.” It’s also a great idea to live like a role model for your kids.
Type 8: The Powerful, dominating type
Eights challenge the status quo, and as a parent, an Eight exudes a profound sense of tenderness. Eights protect children at any cost and are willing to go toe-to-toe with bullies. A blindspot can be overdoing anything and everything. The protection of children sometimes goes out of proportion. To bring proper balance, there is a need to make an effort to emotionally connect with the children rather than seeing them as victims or violators of the order in the world.
Type 9: The Appeaser
Nines are always looking for opportunities to maintain a sense of equilibrium. As a parent, a Nine knows how to mediate conflict. These parents have the capability to relate and empathize and help the others in the family do the same. A blindspot can be burnout from trying to please everyone. Expressing your own opinions and desires to put an end to issues.
Parenting is a tougher task than it seems and is a primary arena of spiritual formation. Understanding ourselves through the Enneagram is a great approach to waking up to the default habits and hang ups that sabotage our best intentions to be good parents.