Have you ever felt that interaction with a male is making you feel devalued, undermined, and depleted? – That’s where you realize you are dealing with a narcissistic male. You cannot continue digesting the poor treatment, and that’s where it proves effective to consider recognizing narcissists’ unhealthy patterns. Thus, in this article we will discuss about the 12 traits of a narcissist that will guide you how to handle the situation.
Why is the Anticipation Necessary?
Anticipation plays a crucial role in a narcissist’s emotional survival, manipulation tactics, and control over others. Because of their fragile ego and deep insecurity, narcissists rely on predicting, planning, and shaping outcomes to maintain their power and sense of superiority.
Anticipating and sidestepping their tactics is a must so that you can stop feeling utterly broken. The narcissists love filling you with feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth. A long-term relationship with a narcissist leads to low self-esteem and a lack of confidence.
Staying with a narcissistic spouse means there will be a high chance that you will put your own life and well-being at risk. The longer you stay the more difficult it would feel for you to leave the relationship, particularly with children involved.
1. Anticipation Helps Them Stay in Control
Narcissists fear losing control over people and situations. By anticipating how others will react, they can:
- Manipulate responses to benefit themselves.
- Plan emotional reactions (e.g., fake remorse, love-bombing, or silent treatment).
- Adjust their tactics to ensure they remain dominant in relationships.
2. They Need to Predict Others’ Actions to Avoid Accountability
Since narcissists avoid blame at all costs, they anticipate accusations, criticism, or confrontations so they can:
- Deny responsibility before being called out.
- Deflect blame onto someone else.
- Twist reality (gaslighting) to make others doubt themselves.
3. Anticipation Feeds Their Need for Validation
Narcissists constantly seek admiration and validation. By anticipating reactions, they:
- Ensure they receive praise and attention when they need it.
- Manipulate conversations to direct focus onto themselves.
- Prepare excuses or justifications if they sense rejection coming.
4. It Protects Their Fragile Ego
Despite their grandiosity, narcissists have low self-esteem. To prevent narcissistic injury, they:
- Anticipate potential insults or rejection and preemptively attack or withdraw.
- Avoid situations where they might look weak.
- Craft a false narrative to preserve their image.
5. They Use It to Manipulate and Exploit Others
By studying people’s emotions, desires, and vulnerabilities, narcissists anticipate how to:
- Love-bomb and gain control over romantic partners.
- Guilt-trip or emotionally blackmail others.
- Trigger emotional responses that work in their favor.
A study on narcissism from the University at Buffalo School of Management revealed that men are more narcissistic than women.
12 Traits Of A Narcissist At a Glance:
- Grandiose sense of self-importance
- The belief they’re special and unique
- Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, beauty, power, brilliance, or ideal love
- Sense of entitlement
- Need for excessive admiration
- Lack of empathy
- Interpersonally exploitative behavior
- Envy of others
- A false belief that others envy them
- Demonstration of arrogant behaviors or attitudes
- Charming first impression
- Feeding off compliments
- Picking on you
- Gaslighting you
- Thinking they’re ALWAYS right
Read also: How to handle parallel parenting with a narcissist husband?
A Detail Over The 12 Traits Of A Narcissist
Now, let’s get a detailed insight into some of their common traits
1. Perfectionism
Male narcissists might display perfectionism regarding the expectations he has for other people. Narcissists believe they are naturally elite, and that is the reason they keep getting the belief that they deserve nothing less than perfection. Narcissists don’t hold themselves accountable to these same standards.
2. Putting the blame on you
Besides not accepting responsibility, they cast the blame upon you, making you believe that everything is your fault.
3. Giving the Silent Treatment
A terrible tactic narcissists implement is silent treatment. They consider refusing to speak and are more likely to listen to them and fall under control.
4. No Boundaries
Narcissists do not set healthy boundaries. What they hate is you being an independent person with hobbies or interests.
5. They Lack Happiness
Typically, narcissists are never happy when they are in a relationship. They will keep nagging about how they are upset about something and that IT IS YOUR FAULT. They keep manipulating you into believing that you need to change your behavior and personality.
6. Refusing to fix or change their behavior
Narcissistic male spouse will refuse to change their ways. Regardless of how much you request him, he will continue to be the same person.
7. Control Issues
Male narcissists are always trying to protect fragile and low self-esteem, trying to control every variable for the prevention of disappointment, discomfort, and failure. Control issues show up as a partner dictating the manner to talk and act around others. With these methods, they maintain the presentation of their superiority.
8. Manipulative
Narcissistic men use manipulation to get what they want and generally do not recognize the behavior as something wrong. Narcissistic manipulation tactics that they use include gaslighting and giving you the silent treatment. You will often end up feeling confused, anxious, and insecure about the way they treat you.
9. They can’t take criticism
Someone with narcissistic personality disorder can’t accept criticism, rejecting and ignoring it altogether. Also, they will show themselves outwardly angry and hostile. What they hold is an elevated sense of self and so aren’t ready to take suggestions for improvement. They do not recept at all critical feedback. Its common to see that even mild criticism proves a threat to their sense of self-worth.
10. Constantly seek validation
Narcissistic personality disorder makes one believe they’re owed and deserving of everything, even when they’ve not truly earned it. They keep looking for ways to seek praise but rarely reciprocate it. You’ll see how they demand continuous attention and lash out or try to distract you when you’re not treating them as the center of your universe.
11. Addiction to social media
Narcissists take advantage of the social media-obsessed world; someone with narcissism costs significantly more than the average user. They feel pleased with the number of “likes” they get and that builds in them the sense of apparent popularity as part of validation that they were seeking all the time.
12. They frequently devalue others
Narcissists tend to elevate themselves, and in the process, they consider putting others down, and they love doing it to their partners. The behavior manifests as comparing you unfavorably to others, belittling comments, or dismissing your efforts. With these techniques, it becomes easier for them to maintain a sense of superiority and control.
Must read: What is Gentle Parenting? Exploration of Its Principles
Do Narcissists Change?
The short answer: Rarely, and only under specific conditions.
Why Is Change Unlikely for Narcissists?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is characterized by a lack of self-awareness, deep-seated entitlement, and a need for control. Narcissists often:
- Deny responsibility for their actions.
- Blame others for their shortcomings.
- Lack empathy, making it difficult to understand how they hurt others.
- Seek validation and admiration, prioritizing their self-image over real self-improvement.
Can a Narcissist Ever Change?
Change is possible but extremely rare. It typically requires:
- Genuine self-awareness – The narcissist must recognize their toxic behaviors.
- Willingness to seek therapy – Long-term psychotherapy (such as CBT) is needed.
- A major life crisis – Sometimes, extreme failures (divorce, job loss, or social rejection) can force self-reflection.
- Strong motivation – They must genuinely want to change, not just for manipulation.
What If You’re Waiting for a Narcissist to Change?
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist (romantic, family, or work), hoping they will change may keep you trapped in a toxic cycle. Instead of waiting:
✔ Set firm boundaries to protect yourself.
✔ Limit expectations about them becoming empathetic.
✔ Seek support from friends, therapists, or support groups.
✔ Consider detaching if the relationship is harming you emotionally.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Can a narcissist change?
Change is extremely rare because narcissists resist taking accountability and rarely seek therapy. Some may modify their behavior temporarily to manipulate others, but true transformation requires deep self-reflection and long-term professional help—something most narcissists refuse to pursue.
2. Can a narcissist love someone genuinely?
Narcissists can form attachments, but their version of “love” is often conditional, self-serving, and transactional. They may love someone as long as that person feeds their ego and meets their needs. However, because they lack empathy, they struggle with deep emotional connections.
3. What are the different types of narcissists?
There are several types of narcissists, including:
- Grandiose (Overt) Narcissist – Loud, arrogant, attention-seeking, and openly entitled.
- Covert Narcissist – Quiet, passive-aggressive, plays the victim, and manipulates subtly.
- Malignant Narcissist – Highly manipulative, aggressive, and even sadistic.
- Communal Narcissist – Appears altruistic but seeks admiration for their “selflessness.”
- Somatic Narcissist – Obsessed with physical appearance, fitness, or attractiveness.
4. Can a narcissist be a good parent?
Narcissists struggle with parenting because they lack empathy and often see their children as extensions of themselves rather than individuals. They may be controlling, neglectful, or overly critical, affecting the child’s self-esteem and emotional well-being.
5. Can therapy help a narcissist?
Therapy can help a narcissist, but only if they are genuinely willing to change—which is rare. Most narcissists reject therapy or manipulate the process to maintain their self-image. If therapy is forced upon them (e.g., by a spouse or court), they are unlikely to make meaningful progress.
Final words
Putting up with a narcissistic male becomes problematic in the future. To deal with a narcissistic male, prioritize setting clear boundaries, avoiding direct confrontation, maintaining a strong sense of self, and seeking support from others. There might be chances that the behavior will significantly impact your well-being, and that is when it’s worth considering leaving the relationship and seeking professional help.
To protect your peace, it becomes mandatory to establish clear boundaries and not take things personally. In addition, communicating your needs and expectations explicitly also ensures that you are firm in upholding them when violated. At all points, make it mandatory to boost your self-esteem and emotional well-being.
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